??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
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