Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize
