he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
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