my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
