I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
