but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
