I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize