I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
