You can't motorboat a personality
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
