im six kinds of drunk right now
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Dignity is for republicans.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Randomize
