I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
