Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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