What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
