we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
