How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
