I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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