Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
