i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
