i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
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does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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