I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
