pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
