Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Randomize
