the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
