If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
