after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
