I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Randomize