her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
