you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
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