glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
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I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
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Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.