Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
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He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
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Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila