Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Floor bacon is actually really good