PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.