This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Randomize
