I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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