I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
