i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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