her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
