i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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