I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
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