Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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