We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Randomize
