Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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