So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
