Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
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Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
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