I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
