1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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