We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Randomize
