Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
