am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
This girl is more easily done than said...
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
