I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
