why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Randomize
