idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
