bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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