I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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