I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
