Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
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i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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