Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
