I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I know her cup size but not her name....
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