I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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