We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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