Can Purell be used as lube?
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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