Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
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