So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
