how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
