So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
