they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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