Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
