I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
